The fine print, in English.

WHAT YOU TELL US STAYS HERE

To find what's broken, we'll need to see things you don't show people — the real numbers, the deal that went sideways, the part of the business held together with tape and one heroic employee. All of it stays in the room.

And look — whatever it is, we've probably heard it. The pipeline that's actually three hopeful emails. The "profitable" service line that isn't. The website nobody can log into because the guy who built it moved to Portugal. You will not shock us. We've stopped being shockable somewhere around year four. What we haven't stopped being is discreet.

WE'RE EXPENSIVE. HERE'S THE MATH.

There's a decent chance you'll get our number, whistle quietly, and hire someone cheaper. That's fine. It's honestly the rational first move, and we'd probably do the same thing.

Here's what usually happens next, because we've watched it enough times to schedule it: the cheaper agency builds you the thing you asked for instead of the thing you needed, everyone's polite about it for two quarters, and the invoices add up to more than our quote — just in smaller, less alarming pieces.

Some of our favorite clients did exactly this. They come back with a knowing look and a folder of receipts. We don't say we told you so, because we didn't get the chance to tell you anything — that's rather the point.

Fair warning, though: we'll probably cost more by then. Not out of spite. Our prices go up as our waitlist does, and our waitlist is mostly people on their second agency.

WHAT WE'LL NEVER DO WITH YOUR DATA

Sell it, rent it, trade it, or feed it to an ad network so sneakers can follow you around the internet. We hate that stuff more than you do — we know exactly how it's done, which is why we don't do it.

COOKIES

We use a few, to see whether anyone reads pages like this one. If you're reading this: it worked, and honestly, we're touched.

THE ACTUAL DOCUMENTS

Everything above is true but a court prefers the long versions: [Privacy Policy] · [Terms of Service]. They say the same things with more Latin.